Pokémon Battle Royale
The Starter Pokemon Battle Royale is the 33rd episode (8th episode of season 2) of Death Battle. It featured the final evolutions of the Gen l starter Pokemon, Venusaur, Blastoise and Charizard, with Blastoise prevailing over the other two combatants. Interlude Wiz: For nearly 2 decades, people across the globe have struggled endlessly to make one crucial, exhausting, impossible choice. Boomstick: Bulbasaur, Squirtle or Charmander. Wiz: It's finally time to learn if the one you chose was really the strongest. Boomstick: And what better way than with their evolved forms! Boomstick: Venusaur, the pimpely plant monster. Blastoise, the bazooka turtle. And Charizard, the... Drgaon. Wiz: For a fair assessment, we're examining maxed out wild Pokemon. For those of you nerdy enough to care, this means no special EV training, no Mega Evolutions and no TM, breed or otherwise unnaturally learned attacks. This way we'll avoid any and all player influence. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE. Venusaur Wiz: The first starter Pokemon evolves from Bulbasaur, to Ivysaur and finally, to Venusaur, the Seed Pokemon. Bomstick: Becoming uglier and uglier with every form. Seriously, what the hell is that thing?! Wiz: Of the three starters, Venusaur is the most well rounded and easiest to raise. In combat, it relies on it's above average Special Attack and Special Defense, or non-physical combat. Boomstick: Old froggy-plant has a variety of different moves. Vine Whip's for slappin' bitches and Razor Leaf can cut through whole trees. The there's the less action-packed skills like Sleep Powder, which is used to put foes to sleep, and take women home from bars. Wiz: Venusaur's adaptability is it's greatest asset. It can above health with Leech Seed like some kind of jungle vampire or simply heal on it's own by using Synthesis. It also knows Sweet Scent, which aids the poor accuracy of the Sleep and Poison Powders. Boomstick: But why bother with Poisons and Powders when you got a super laser! Venusaur can absorb so much sun energy that he can fire the Solar Beam. Venusaur: VENUSAUUR! *Fires Solar Beam, knocking out Heracross* Boomstick: When I find flowers that can do that, I might actually take up gardening. Try and pollenate now, bees! Wiz: In real life, celestially powered lasers rely on heated magnesium combustion. In order to fire, the Solar Beam's temperature needs to be over 6700 ºF. Unfortunately, the Solar Beam is so powerful, it takes twice as long to perform as any other attack. As a Grass and Poison type, Venusaur is extremely effective against Water-type Pokemon. Boomstick: But keep him away from Flying and Fire types. Because as we all know, plants burn, and birds fucking hate grass. Wiz: Yet Venusaur's well-rounded skills and tricky moveset could out smart the competition. Pokedex: Venusaur, the final form of the Bulbasaur evolution. This Seed Pokemon soaks on the sun's rays as a source of energy. Blastoise The second starter Pokemon evolves from Squirtle, to Wartortle and finally, to Blastoise, the Shellfish Pokemon. Boomstick: So how did this thing come about?! Did a turtle get really drunk one night and then came across a tank and was like "Eh, I'll stick my dick in that!" Then 9 months later the tank showed up at his door and was like "BOOM, this is your's." Then he raised it out of shame until one day it evolved and all the other turtles were like "THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME" so then they all started banging tanks?! Wiz: Suurree, why not...? Blastoise boasts defense over offense, using his weighty bulk to outlast and overpower foes. Like a stone firm upon the shore, he can take wave after wave of punishment. Boomstick: As poetic as that was, he won't be winning any marathons. He's almost as slow as a tortoise, which makes sense, unlike the giant guns sticking out of his back! Wiz: Blastoise can significantly reduce incoming damage with Iron Defense, barrel through hazards with Rapid Spin, and guard against any and all attacks with Protect. Boomstick: He can chomp foes with Bite and crack heads with Skull Bash, but most of his arsenal focuses on water power, blasting foes with Water Gun, Water Pulse, Aqua Tail and...! Bubbles! ''' But despite it's lack of attack type diversity, Blastoise can maximize his watery weaponry with Rain Dance, a rain storm that amplifies Water type moves and blocks out the sun. '''Boomstick: But his ultimate attack is Hydro Pump, where he blasts water out of his twin cannons with enough force to accurately punch through steel at a range of 160 feet. Wiz: High pressure water jet cutters are used industrially to cut through metal with at least 55 000 PSI, or pounds per square inch. By measuring Blastoise's cannons in comparison to his size, we can tell his Hydro Pump has a power of 90 000 PSI. Boomstick: That'll get the stains off your patio! Along with, your patio and possibly house. Wiz: Blastoise is effective against Fire type Pokemon, but weak to Grass and Electric. Boomstick: And when he's not battling, Blastoise can be found training on secluded islands to strengthen his combat skills. Wiz: If it plays it's defenses right, Blastoise just might outlast everyone. Pokedex: Blastoise's strength lies in it's power, rather than it's speed. It's shell is like armor, and attacks from the hydro cannons on it's back are virtually unstoppable. Charizard Wiz: The final starter Pokemon evolves from Charmander, to Charmeleon and finally, to Charizard, the Flame Pokemon. Boomstick: I would so ride that into battle! Wiz: Well, that could be tough. A full grown Charizard is only 5-foot 7-inches tall. Boomstick: WHAT?! That's bullshit! I wanna ride a dragon to burn the villages of my enemies, not hang out with it on the sofa. Wiz: Despite its size, Charizard is extremely fast and extremely powerful. Its Speed and Special Attack eclipse the other two starters' twice over, the trade off being unfotunate frailty. Boomstick: But since he can fly, it's pretty hard to get a hold of him. Wiz: Charizard's moveset is incredibly diverse, ranging from the obvious fire breath to flying, dragon, and even ghost type attacks. Boomstick: At close range, he'll always have an edge up, by using either Slash, Dragon Claw, or Shadow Claw; He can strike from above with Wing Attack or Air Slash; but his real strength lies in the flames. He'll burn and bite you with Fire Fang, trap you in a vortex of embers with Fire Spin; smash you apart with Flare Blitz... Wiz: At the cost of self inflicted recoil damage. Boomstick: ...And of course, burn you to cinders with Flame Burst or Flamethrower. Wiz: Charizard can reportedly burn through solid stone. This means his Flamethrower reaches temperatures over 2000 degrees Fahrenheit. Boomstick: Charizards are aggressive and warrior-like, and will actively seek fights with stonger opponents. Wiz: The Fire and Flying type combination makes Charizard doubly effective against Grass Pokemon, but weak to Water types. If it spends too much time in a heavy rainstorm, its flame will go out... permanently. Boomstick: But he's so fast and deadly, he might just overpower his enemies before they know what him. Pokedex: Charizard, the Flame Pokemon, when competing in intense battles, Charrizard's flame becomes more intense as well. Battle Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate, once and for all! Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!! With the Pokemons. ............ In a forest clearing, a wild Bulbasaur, Squirtle and Charmander are all sitting around happily. A machine comes in and drops a HUGE amount of Rare Candies, covering up the three Pokemon. Suddenly, a bright light starts emitting from the pile, and soon enough, we see three new, fully evolved, maxed out Pokemon. Venusaur, Blastoise and Charizard. FIGHT! The battle begins with Charizard leaping straight up into the air. He turns around and charges at Blastoise, hitting the turtle with a Slash. Blastoise then uses Withdraw, going into it's shell, and then follows it up with Iron Defense. Charizard then comes back, trying to attack Blastoise again, but not even a Flamethrower was getting through. Venusaur then joins the fight, attacking both Pokémon with Razor Leaf. Blastoise takes no damage, staying in it's shell, but Charizard does take some. The dragon then picks up Blastoise, flies into the air and throws the Water-type at Venusaur, during which Blastoise uses Rapid Spin and when he hits Venusaur head on with it, it hurts. Blastoise finally comes out of it's shell as it bounces away from the dinosaur and then hits Venusaur again with a Tackle, knocking the dinosaur back a bit. Charizard then rejoins the fray, hitting Blastoise with a Flare Blitz. The two of them are then trying to push the other one over, but neither one is making progress. Behind them, Venusaur uses Synthesis to heal himself, and then Sweet Scent to lower his opponents evasion. Charizard and Blastoise stop their scuffle, wondering what is happening. Venusaur then uses Sleep Powder to try and knock his foes out. The effects start to affect the two, but Charizard flies up to avoid them, so only Blastoise falls asleep, retreating to it's shell just before it for protection. Venusaur uses Vine Whip to catch the fleeing Charizard and hold him still as he prepares to fire a Solar Beam. However, with a mighty roar, the winged lizard escapes from the Vine Whip's grasp and charges straight for Venusaur. But before he can get to him, Venusaur finishes charging and fires the Solar Beam at Charizard, who quickly retaliates with a Flamethrower. The two attacks collide, and neither side is giving an inch. The attacks continue to go, as Charizard attempts to close in on the grass type. But soon enough, the attacks created a huge explosion as the screen fades to black... When the screen returns the enviroment is a complete wasteland. Venusaur is surrouned by dust, making it hard to see. Venusaur looks around for Charizard... Then out of nowhere Charizard charges Venusaur. Charizard uses Wing Attack, ripping Venusaur's flower off. Venusaur yells in pain, and Charizard retreats. Charizard then fires a Flame Burst, which surrounds Venusaur. The plant monster roars as it tries to escape, but it isn't able to, with its last moment being it screaming into the air... Blastoise is still asleep, as Venusaur's flower rolls by Blastoise like a tumbleweed. The dust goes into his shell, causing Blastoise to sneeze and wake-up. Blastoise sees Charizard on the other side of the once lush, green, forest. The screen starts flashing, as it eventually breaks into a black and a Pokeball comes down and toward the viewer, in reference to the wild battles in the Pokemon games. Blastoise immediately starts off with Rain Dance to increase his strength and make Charizard weaker. As the rain comes down, the two Pokemon simply stand there. Then lightning comes down from clouds, and as if like a signal, the two Pokemon roar and commence their final fight. Charizard uses multiple Slashes, but the last one misses as he tries to slash Blastoise's head, but Blastoise tilts his head at the last second. Charizard misses, leaving him vulnerable, and Blastoise uses Bite on Charizard's neck. Charizard begins to bleed and, in anguish uses Fire Spin sorrounding them in fire. Blastoise then grabs a hold of Charizard's wings and uses Skull Bash, but Charizard doesn't go down without a fight. Charizard begins to use Fire Fang and bites Blastoise's head multiple times, causing him to bleed just above his eye. Blastoise lets out a roar and with all his strength rips Charizard's wings off and he too is launched, landing a bit away with a closed eye that's covered in blood. Charizard is paralyzed for a few seconds, giving Blastoise the perfect opportunity. Blastoise grabs Charizard by the neck. Charizard tries to use Flamethrower, but Blastoise uses both hands to grip Charizard's neck, causing him to choke it back. Blastoise bends over making sure Charizard's head is directly in front of his cannons. Blastoise uses Hydro Pump to finish him off by shooting it directly into his mouth. Charizard begins to inflate as he is being filled with water. Blastoise lets go of Charizard, roars, and Charizard explodes from all the water inside of him in midair. As the Rain Dance ends and the Fire Spin is extingished, the Turtle Tank yells out a triumph roar. KO! Epilogue Boomstick: CHARIZARD!! Noooo! Oh, and Froggy-Plant-whatever-asaur. Wiz: Charizard's greater speed allowed first attack, and its proud warrior mentality lead to striking Blastoise first. Boomstick: But Venusaur knew he had to take Charizard down right away, so everyone's favorite fire lizard was doomed, taking too much damage early on from two different angles. Wiz: But poor Venusaur didn't stand a chance against Charizard's dual typing, and the bulky defense of Blastoise was more than enough to outlast both of them. Also since Charizard and Venusaur do not naturally learn Sunny Day, they could not counter the Rain Dance. Boomstick: But Wizard, shouldn't they all just counter each other?! ''(-Inevitable Youtube Comment)'' Wiz: Ah, yes, the 'rock-paper-scissors' factor is a bit tricky; grass beats water, water beats fire, fire beats grass; but ultimately the core of any Pokemon battle boils down to mathematics. Every attack does a specific amount of damage, with specific effects to specific types with a specific accuracy. Boomstick: And each Pokemon's stats are clearly displayed in the good ol' Pokedex. Wiz: So by comparing every move, effect, choice, order, and likeliness of occurrence, there are over 7000 possible ways this battle royale could play out. And out of all potential matches, Blastoise wins the majority. Boomstick: Even when removing type effectiveness entirely and pitting attack and special attack against defense and special defense, factoring against health and speed, the turtle tank still takes it. Blastoise H2Owned! Wiz: The winner is Blastoise. Trivia *This is the second episode to be a Battle Royale, the first was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale. However, unlike that fight, this Battle Royale featured 3 combatants instead of 4. *This is the fifth time that an episode of Death Battle is not sponsored by any web ads. the first four were Dr. Eggman vs. Dr. Wily, Ivy vs. Orchid, Terminator vs. Robocop, and Luigi vs. Tails. *Publicly, this is the sixth Death Battle episode to have the most fanboys raging about the most popular character losing to the underdog, the first 5 were Princess Zelda vs Princess Peach, Link vs Cloud Strife, Batman vs Spider-Man, Goku vs Superman, and Luigi vs Tails. *The Rare Candies being dropped into the field was Death Battle's way of making all three Pokemon completely maxed out without EV stats, since Rare Candies don't raise them. Category:Death battles Category:Season 2 episodes